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From::New Jersey, United States 100 Things About Me I'm 34 and happily married to a wonderful man. As you can see from the 8,000 pictures we have 2 adorable children! They make us smile, make us laugh, and then shock the hell out of us on a regular basis. We're totally learnin as we go here in the maniacal household, but we're havin fun!  along with my Darling Husband Come visit us!
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006Hell No, We Won't Go.......To Sleep!!!Allie is on a Nap Strike. Well, at least as far as my parent's house goes. She now refuses to take a nap when she's there. Now we can all say: Well it's someplace new. She's not home. Not in her own crib and bla bla bla. But my mother has been taking care of Allie since she's 8 weeks old. She's just as comfortable there as she is home. Or at least she should be. So what's the dilly, yo? I'm the type of person that likes to find the REASONS behind things. Why does things happen. I don't like the answer, "It just happens!" BAH That's bull! You can say, "It's a phase that most kids go through at this age due to developmental issues...." Whatever, that's FINE. At least that's a reason! Of course whenever I talk about what the reason might be that she doesn't want to sleep anymore at "grandma's" house, both my parents start to immediately take offence. "OH, you think it's my fault don't you!!!" But, fault is such a loaded word, isn't it? That would mean that I'm blaming them! Ok, maybe I am blaming them. But I don't think that whatever they did, or didn't do was something that was on purpose. Because believe me, they WANT her to nap! Actually she does in fact fall asleep when she is there, she just doesn't want to be put down in the pack and play. hmmmm I'm sure it has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the fact that, on occasion, my father likes to have her nap on him while he half snoozes and watches TV, especially when she's sick. I'm sure that's just a odd coincidence. Plus, she's NEVER sick! -------------------------------------- P.S. I feel like I guilted you all into visiting Dad said Mom said yesterday. =o( Sorry. Oh yea, and I'm totally waiting for the phone to ring after that post. *ring* Ummm oh hi dad.......noooo I was kidding! TOTALLY KIDDING!!! I know...I know, she was sick and coughing, and it was only once! *coughtwicecough* Like I said....KIDDING!! I didn't have anything else to write about today! Sorry.  
Tuesday, November 28, 2006If snot grosses you out, don't read this.On my way to work this morning as I'm driving down the long windy road down the large hill that we live on I hear Althea sneeze, twice. I turn my head quickly to look at her and there on her face are two large greenish "snakes"! One out of each nostril. EWWWWWWWWW Ok, so now what do I do? I got cars in front of me and cars behind me and basically no shoulder on a long windy road. I look back again, and she's got her tongue out licking her upper lip. EWWWWWWWWW I start cringing..."Allie stop! Ewww no no, don't do that!!!" I start looking around the car while navigating the turns down the hill. I see a box of tissues and I take one out and hand it to my 13 month old. Now, while driving, I'm attempting to TEACH this toddler how to use a tissue for the first time on her own. She grabs the tissue and touches it to her nose. Now she's got it on her hand, on the tissue, and STILL with the tongue out! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I'm saying to her, while looking at her in the sunvisor's mirror, "Allie pinch your nose like this...", while I'm pinching my nose. I think back on that now like, what am I out of my mind? Did I really think she was gonna do that? DUH. So instead of suddenly turning into the smartest child alive and blowing her nose with ease into the tissue and handing it back to me saying, "Thank you mom, please do not forget to dispose of that in the proper manner." My darling daughter starts to EAT the tissue! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I panic.....NOOOOO nooo nooo noooo ALLIE!!! Yuckyyyyyy Gimme THAT! *reaches back to grab tissue* Still navigating turns, by the way. She holds it out of my reach and QUICKLY starts to chew on the piece of tissue in her mouth knowing that I'm going to try and take it away from her! Finally, I see a spot to pull over and take it. Mike, who was also on his way to work driving about 5 cars behind me, also pulls in. He JUMPS out of the car in panic! "WHAT'S WRONG!!" I'm fine....We're fine! She sneezed, and got snot everywhere, and now she's eating the tissue! How did she get a tissue? SHUT UP! What?!?! *sigh* Has your kids ever done something weird or scary in the back seat while your driving and you couldn't get to them? I couldn't imagine if it was something worse what I would have done! ---------------------------------- BTW I'm starting to get a complex that I'm not loved. It was Mike and My week to do Dad said Mom said and we've had the lowest stats EVER on the site. *pout* I mean I know it's Thanksgiving and all, but.........don't you guys love us??? We love you!
Thursday, November 23, 2006Happy Turkey Day!Short post to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and to direct you to two places. 1. Go check out Jennnster's Blog Talk Radio show from last night. I may or may not have called in to plug my monogrammed pumpkins, which you can see above. Did I plug my blog, or Dad said Mom said? You know like worth while things to plug? no....just pumpkins! *shrug* 2. Speaking of Dad said Mom said, Stop the Presses!!! MY HUSBAND admitted today on Dad said Mom said that Women are Smarter! *writes this day on calendar and prints post for future black mail* ok, gonna get in trouble for blogging rather than getting ready, so see ya later! Don't forget you can eat whatever you want today and it's ok! That's the AWESOMENESS that is Thanksgiving! LA! Labels: Holidays
Tuesday, November 21, 2006Breaking News and some updatesBreaking News *looks out window and waits for pigs to start flying by* *wonders if it's cold enough here in NJ for Hell to begin freezing over* Internet, I just went out and boughtmy first fucking Christmas Present! HA! GO ME!!! *does the cabbage patch dance in celebration* Oh yea baby, it's not EVEN freaking Thanksgiving yet and I just bought not only 1 Christmas present but 2!!! (More on this topic Friday) Update #1 Just in case you don't really know me, I'm a big fucking wuss! (Wow, 2 F bombs in one post! Who do I think I am Jennster?) I haven't talked to my boss yet. *sigh* I've had plenty of perfect moments to do it too. I come in early, he comes in early. He comes and hangs out at my desk and we bullshit, and he practically begs me to talk about stuff with him. WTF is wrong with me? It's already approved, I just need to ask him to get it on track again. WHY IS THAT SO HARD? It's not....I'm just a wuss. Update #2 Althea's Christening was this past weekend. My daughter is now officially not a heathen. I KNOW! A daughter of MINE!?! Shocking! Anyway, pretty much everything that could go wrong Sunday did.
Update #3
Friday, November 17, 2006I Think Weekly Drunk Blogging should be ManditoryFor ALL bloggers. Don't you? In fact I may actually get drunk and blog on purpose! LOL It looks sounds like too much fun. My problem always is that I have too high of a tolerance, so it takes me a while to get drunk. I always get tired before I get drunk, unless of course I'm out and gettin down to business with the shots, then it's a whole other story. Anyway, you HAVE TO HAVE TO HAVE TO go check out  today. Issa is wasted and dancing around her office while her husband who can't type tries to pull together a blog post....too effing funny!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAPPY FRIDAY!!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006RehearsalIf you guys don't mind, I'd like to rehearse the conversation that I'm going to attempt to have with my boss today (or maybe tomorrow). I'm such a freak and I hate confrontation and having uncomfortable conversations with people. You should have seen how long it took me to tell my boss that I was pregnant, my husband had to threaten my that he was going to call himself! Allie is sick again. Fever, cough, wheezing, congestion, and the rash is still there. I had to dress her and pack her up to my parents house and go to work instead of snuggle up in bed with her, like I should have done. It sucks, and I'm getting sick of it. No doubt I'll be sick for real next week. Our department just had a reorg and I now have a new manager....supervisor is the same. But of course we are all going to have more work on our plates including my supervisor. Anyway, remember the whole work from home thing? Well it was supposed to be put on hold till the reorg is done. And, umm it's done. Me: Hey (supervisor), do you have a minute? Him: Sure. Me: Listen. I know we are all going to have a lot of work on our plates soon, but I need to be completely honest with you. My daughter is sick...AGAIN. I didn't call in sick today because I know I have taken a lot of sick days, but this whole thing is starting to wear on me. I know the whole working from home thing was approved and then put on hold till the reorg was done. I don't want you to feel like I'm giving you some sort of ultimatum, but now that the reorg is finally over I need to get that back on track. I need to have the ability to work from home if the need arises, or I'm going to have to start looking for a job that gives me that ability. I like working for you, but this is somethin that I need. Him: Your fired! Clean out your desk! HAHAHA JUST KIDDING, he wouldn't say that. I have no idea what he's going to say. But...what do you think about what I said? To the point? Add anything? Take anything out? You can tell I'm serious about this, but not being bitchy? Gimme your feedback PLEASE! I need some encouragement before I can get the balls to get out of my chair and just do it already!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006The Kevin Charnas AwardsWait, what's that you say? It's not called the Kevin Charnas Awards? hmmmph, well apparently it should be! Cause, damn....that man cleans up! He's like the movie star you see at the Academy Awards who's all drunk with the big smile on his face while he's walking around with like 4 awards. He's the freakin Jack Nicholson of... The ROFL Awards!!  Three different people awarded him with the award for his Evolution of My Halloween Costume posts. Which I was going to nominate, but couldn't pick one. So instead I picked one just as funny: This Couch Feels...Scratchy. This was actually the first post of his that I ever read. I found him from a hysterical comment he made on Jennster, and I've been hooked ever since. Basically, almost everything he wrote in October got an award! LOL I mean really.....if that's not a reason to change the name of the award to the Kevin Charnas Awards...I don't know what is!
Monday, November 13, 2006Places I Hate- An on-going List by Althea Maniacal (1 yr old)
Pending: The Dermatologist. I'm not sure what this is yet, as we aren't going till Thursday, but be absolutely sure that the second that I decide that it's not cool. All hell will, once again, break lose and I will go from absolutely adorable to demon child in .5 seconds flat!! -------------------- I get there early and my friend isn't there yet, which is fine. I'm totally unprepared. I have no diapers or wipes in the car. (I KNOW, what kind of mother am I?!?! But to my defense, I just picked her up from daycare, and they have all that stuff there.) Allie has these horns of hair on the top of her head where pigtails used to be, because she is recently in the stage of pulling every damn thing that I put in her hair out (Which is great since her hair is now starting to get long and out of control! yay! Most of the time she has Kramer Hair!) Lets not forget the dirty face, in which I have no wipes to clean. Into the upscale hair salon we go! I walk in, everyone is young, pretty, skinny, and wearing black. They look at me like - what is that 1 yr old doing here! I say, without being asked, my friend is coming to watch her...just so you know. They smile and say - Oh.....it's fine! Allie starts to flirt with them all which is her normal routine. She's waving & doing the little head to the side thing, everyone things she's adorable (I put a hat on her to hide the Kramer hair). I think this is gonna be a piece of cake. The girl comes over for the consultation. (cause they do consultations here...ohh lala) Allie's all smiles, she asks me about my hair and what I want, bla bla bla. In the middle my friend comes in. Everything is still fine. Then, the hairdresser says the words: Ok, lets go. *smiles and waves to Allie* Bye bye! That little girl sat outside the salon and SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER for an hour!
Thursday, November 09, 2006Thursday 13 reasons why Britney's diet* wouldn't work for me*Not eating anything white Alternate title: Thursday 13 things that aren't White
So yea....I think I might need to take a differant approach!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006Know it alls!I love blogging about all the crap going on in my head. I used to have a notebook next to my bed to just write stuff out so that I can get to sleep. If I didn't write it down, it would whirl around my head all night long and not much sleep was had. In between the nonsensical crappola in my head I also like writing about all the stuff that's just goin on in my house and life on a regular basis. I don't really want to call up my friends constantly and be like - ME ME ME ME ME ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME all the time. Soooo instead, the internet gets all the ME stuff. That way when I talk to my friends I could talk to them about them, or about just stuff. HOWEVER... I still haven't gotten used the fact that most people know what's goin on all the time. You haven't seen someone in a while... Let me show you a picture of my daughter!! *proud momma* Oh I've seen your blog. Oh.....right. She's cute! Thanks... Talk to your mom on the phone.... Mom: So when are you changing doctors? Me: *shrug* ummmm Mom: I read your blog ya know....so WHEN? Me: I don't know....maybe when things calm down? Mom: Ok, but make sure you do it! Me: Yes mom. Coworker asks.... I didn't know you've been SKYDIVING!!! uhhhhhh yea! *thinks to self, how the hell does she know that?!?!?* I saw it on your blog. (100 things about me) OHHHHH Right! =o) MIL calls..... I didn't know Allie was SICK!! Is she ok!! OMG poor thing!!! It's ok, she's doing better... You should have told me! Do you need anything? I know *cringe* sorry =( No, we're ok. Mom calls after reading something on the blog that I didn't call her and tell her first... So, I see that Allie has an ear infection. *silence, although you can hear the faint sound of a foot tapping* Oh, right....yea, I just got back from the doctor. uh huh *pause* I had to read it on your BLOG! Mom, I was just about to call you! hmmmmm My husband says to me.... Umm don't think I didn't realize that whole football thing was about me....... *shrug* what football thing? *smile* uhhh huh Then there are the people who you don't talk to. Are they reading? Are any of my ex's reading this? Are any of Mike's? Are people from my past keeping tabs by popping in every once in a while? I don't even like thinking about that actually. It makes me feel all sort of self conscious about what I'm writing about. And that sucks. I guess it'll just have to be one of those things that I agree with myself not to think about. Just pretend that I live in a world of sunshine and rainbows...and everything is as it should be. HA!
Monday, November 06, 2006Hello Dada? It's me Allie!Daddy is Althea's favorite toy. The telephone however, is a close second. She walks around with a phone to her ear talking to, who else, Dada! She has entire conversations with him over the phone.  When he's actually there however, she plays this "Marco Polo" type game with him. It starts as soon as we pull in the driveway and she sees him. Daa-DA? She'll scream. To which he replies....All-IE! This goes on most of the night. Mike's response differs from time to time. Apparently when your NOT a one year old you get tired of repeating the same thing over and over again for hours! LOL So he'll change it up. DaaDA? - Baby GIRL! DaaDA? - AltheeAH! DaaDA? - All-IE! *giggle* DaaDA? - no response DaaDA? DaaDA? DAADAA!?!!?! *In rapid fire repetition* Finally he responds....Yes Allie. *big smile, crooks head, and waves at him* She's such a flirt.  Finally it's time to go to bed. She still has her night bottle, and one of us feeds it to her in the chair while rocking her. Most of the time she falls asleep while drinking it. Sometimes though, she's still slightly awake after the bottle and I put her in her crib. When this happens I'll stay in the room with her and wait till she falls asleep. She twists and turns and sometimes babbles. But the second before she finally passes out she musters up her last bit of energy to let out one final DaaDA? Loud and clear as day, and the the next second.....she's out! Freakin hysterical. --------- I don't even wanna get into the weekend from Hell that we just finished. But thank you all so much for the kind words and the concern. You guys are all so great! *huggs*
Friday, November 03, 2006Who does what in your house?It's Friday! You know what that means right? There's a new post up on This week's post is about the delegation of duties in the house. Always a rough topic. I think no matter what, everyone always feels like they do more! LOL Well except me, I'm always afraid that I don't do enough....but I'm weird. Anyway, go check it out and tell us how the duties are split up in YOUR house. ---------------------------- p.s. Antibiotic shot #2 delivered last night. Rash got worse, and then got better. But it's not healed by any means. Dropped her off at daycare with a heavy heart. While I'm there I hear a mom talk about how her daughter has a "little" cold, along with everyone else in their house. *hangs head* Oh jeezus....here we go. She left and as I went to sit Allie down for breakfast in the chair I said - OK well we're not sitting next to Olivia today!!! Everyone laughed....oh yea...real funny.
Thursday, November 02, 2006The Last AppointmentWell, now that all that fun stuff is over with, lets go back to talking about sickness! I know...yay....*rolls eyes* At this point Althea has been to the doctor soo much that she absolutely despises the place more than she did before (if that's even possible). There's never a good reason to be there. If it's a well visit, she gets a shot or two. If it's a sick visit, she's already miserable cause she's sick and then we hold her down and poke and prod her with all different instruments. Well, being the smart girl that she is, she is now aware of this way before we even enter the room and starts the meltdown as soon as we enter the waiting room. She grabs a hold of my neck and starts screaming bloody murder just at the site of the nurse. By the time I get into the examining room it's full out meltdown with tears streaming down her face. And OMG, if the nurse dares to try and and even weigh her you'd think that she was jabbing her with needles.....which of course comes later. Last week we went for a combo appointment. Her regular 1 yr old visit, to check to see if the second round of antibiotics finally got rid of the ear infection from hell, and a flu shot. It was gonna be a fun one no doubt. Just in case all of that poking wasn't enough I found out that she was to get a lead test, and for an extra $10 they would do a finger prick right in the office instead of the normal blood test from a vein in her ARM. Which BTW would have had to be done at a different lab someone else. She's telling me this for the third time because I can barely hear her since Allie is screaming so loudly and holding on to my neck so hard that she's cutting off circulation. Finally I said, fine...$10 whatever. Doctor comes in and attempts to have conversation with me over the screaming. *Checks her ears* Infection still there but a little better - come back in a week to make sure it's gone. Have you started to give her milk yet? Yea a little in the morning.....but. Good, that's fine. *Rushes to next question* Is she talking? Well, actually she's kind of stalled a little in that department. She said a couple of things real early and now everything is mama and dada. *Sighs, cause now she can't just check the box off real quick with an OK* How many words does she say? Maybe like 4 ? ("mama", "dada", "baba", "BoohBah", oh yea and "that"...ok maybe 5) That's fine. *Happily checks the box OK* How does she eat? Eating is never a problem, she'll eat anyth... *gets interrupted* How about bowel movements? Normal? Well, she gets rashes very easily... *she shakes her head like I'm forcing her to listen to unimportant information* But how about bowel movements? Well, sometimes they vary, but ok I guess. OK, great! *she leaves* I attempt to get Allie dressed. Of course she still hasn't stopped crying and it STILL holding on to my neck for dear life. I get her to calm down a little for a second to put her pants on. The doctor walks back in with her coat on, and her purse in her hand. *baby starts screaming again* You see, I'm her last appointment. I'm always her last appointment. And even though I have to leave work early and rush like hell to get there by 4:30....she's lookin to leave before I'm even done dressing my daughter. She says to me: The test came back that your daughter is anemic. I want you to go and get...*I interrupt her* Oh......umm so am I. *she continues* I want you to go and get blablabla *doesn't even bother to write it down for me* But hey, I'm her last appointment, right? So she's allowed to not even me the time to ask any of the 20+ questions that I had for her like - Do I have to replace every bottle with milk, or how much milk should she be getting, or should I be doing milk half and half for a while? My daughter is anemic, what does that mean? I'm feeding her well, is there something else I should be doing.....blablabla Ya know stuff that is TOTALLY not more important that the fact that it's 5pm, and she's not in her car yet. *Insert more fucking Mommy Guilt here, because I'm giving my daughter subpar care due to ALWAYS HAVING TO BE THE LAST DAMN APPOINTMENT!!* ------------------ Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment when I write all about how today I'm going BACK to the doctor (another 4:30 appointment) to get the second round of Antibiotic SHOTS (that give Althea the worst diaper rash you've ever seen) to attempt to finally combat the EAR INFECTION FROM HELL!!!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006Kool Kids KlubI've NEVER been a part of the Kool Kids Klub. I was always friends with them.....kinda.....but never IN. Ya know? I was the girl on the fringe who wore all black, cut class, and was going out with the "Dirt Bag" who was 2 years older than her. I did go to the Kool Kids parties sometimes. Although, most of the time I had my own parties. In fact totally off topic, (not that you even know what the topic is yet but bear with me) my parents, who are florist/wedding planners and work out of the house I grew up in, get brides and grooms on a daily basis who walk into my old house and say: Wow!! I can't believe your doing my wedding, I've been to TONS of kick ass parties at this house! LOL Anyway, it's the same thing with blogging. I'm on the fringe. I'm friends with the Kool Kids....kinda....but I'm not IN by any means. Which is fine, cause the blog isn't about that. But guess what? Today I'm feeling kinda like that day back in High School when I got talked into being my friend's partner when trying out for the cheerleading squad, just because she needed a partner to try out not cause I was actually gonna BE a cheerleader, and GO FIGURE I MADE IT!!! I barely made the year on the squad though cause lets face it, the girl in all black who goes out with the "Dirt Bags" has no place on a cheerleading squad! But today!! TODAY I'M IN!!! Even if it's just for today! It's nice to actually be IN and at the Kool Kids Party, with a goddamn REAL invitation in my hand! Hey! It's me the girl on the fringe who wears all black! Wanna see my invitation to the party:
------------ Thank you so much Black Belt Mama for awarding me a Perfect Post Award for October 2006. You have no idea how giddy I am that I'm in with that group of bloggers!
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