Thursday, January 31, 2008

Petrified

As I sit on the couch in my living room, I look around. The place looks like 10 toddlers just had a party. The baby is on my lap happily eating and the Backyardigans are singing away on the TV. I wonder if I'm totally out of my mind for doing what I'm about to do. I go over the wording in my head...."for the difficult decision"?? no maybe "with this difficult decision". I'm writing my resignation letter.

With the click of the mouse I'm about to enter the world of the unemployed....on purpose. When I tell people that I may not go back to work they say to me, Oh that's wonderful that your able to do that! I laugh and think to myself, well really we're NOT able to do it......but we're not able NOT to do it either so *shrug*

It's a scary thing. Many people have said to me: You'll be surprised how it all works itself out. Maybe their right......but I'm sure that sometimes it DOESN'T work itself out either......

I like to work, to be honest. I like to troubleshoot difficult situations and come up with a fix. I love to automate. My favorite thing to do is to make the computer work for me. Whenever I have to do anything manually all I can think of in my head is a way to make it easier. I like to be challenged. I giggle and look around. Boy am I challenged right now! And talk about doing something manually. There is no way the computer can change diapers.

Well, a difficult situation is what I'm in right now.....so time to put my automation cap on and figure out how to get this computer to pay the mortgage. I have to! Because after being home with my kids for the past couple of months I just can't imagine going back to work full time just to hand my paycheck to some one else to raise them and witness all their firsts. It just doesn't make sense. As I hit the send button of my resignation letter my daughter comes up to me.

"Whatcha doin mommy?"
"Nothing, what YOU doin munchkin?"
"Wook (that's Luke) all done eatin?"
I look down and he's laying on my lap smiling up at me content with his full belly.
"Yup!"
"We go play my play room now? You too and Wook too?"
*big smile and big blue eyes nodding repeatedly*
*smile* "Sure".
*all excited* "Ok Mommy, I make you and Wook tea!!!"

As of today I am a SAHM. Tomorrow I need to figure out how to become a WAHM.

Labels: A Day in the Life, It's all about me, you wanted to be a mom

Posted by Jenn :: 8:36 AM :: # 7 comments

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